“Describe a perfect first date. Where would you go? What would you do?”

slam left right left right left right knock knock open hi Im name1 hi nice to meet you Im name2 ready lets go ok close lock llrlrrlrrrlll oops watch out for the forward mounted SUV impaling lance and paintball gun turret open open slam slam vroom screech open slam open slam llrlrrllrrlrrlr open swush welcome to megadrink may I take your order Ill have the grande mocha chai latte with genetically engineered bioluminescent soy milk and elixir of cardamom extra foam ditto so tell me about yourself I was born at an early age and raised in a secret underground lair by a coven of unlicensed but progressive witch-surrogates how interesting I coalesced in a subterranean vat of peptides and essential fatty acids fascinating what a chthonic coincidence wow Ive waited 10 years to use the word chthonic in a sentence do you come here often yes fortnightly I enjoy the newly restored and tastefully appointed fin de siècle period candlelit ferris wheel gondola cars and caffeine theme park how do you remember to spell fin de siècle correctly I dont its embossed on the napkins you know mark twain said in the beginning god created idiots that was just practice then he created boards of education laugh chuckle have you been to that new subliminal movie theatre no whats that the film images are projected just below the detection threshold for visual awareness forming only subconscious memories and the tickets are half price how about that aristotle talk about a long run of popularity did he not reason that because money is the root of all evil and money cant buy you love therefore not being able to buy love is the root of all evil yes that was his primary syllogism I agree with your clever and incisive exegesis once at club med antarctica the supply flights were delayed and we had to eat penguin for 2 weeks it tasted like chicken thats disgusting yet informative any vacations planned yes Im headed for the mohorovičić discontinuity tell me more its the boundary between the earths crust and mantle where a continuous flow of 1100 degree magma oozes forth its the last unspoiled paradise on or beneath the face of the earth whats your favorite color heliotrope whats yours blue sir and madam Im sorry but were closing in the 9 hours youve been here weve undergone one downsizing and two entirely separate corporate reorganizations ok lets go open swush arm in arm llrrllrrllrrllrr gaze upwards at coruscating heavens llrr open slam open slam vroom screech may I escort you to your door yes open slam lrlrlr open slam llrrllrrllrrllrr Ive had a wonderful time me too Ive never met anyone quite like you cue music the look of love is in your eyes a look your smile cant disguise yes well in reply may I state that I can hardly wait to hold you feel my arms around you would you like to come in blush awkward silence uh thanks how about doing something profoundly intimate late friday and extending well into saturday ok Id love to Im attracted to your looks charm and complete absence of punctuation thanks for the mocha chai latte with genetically engineered bioluminescent soy milk and elixir of cardamom extra foam my treat good night intoxicating hug swoon bye bye close joyful skipping lrlrlrlrl open slam vroom